Sunday, November 17, 2013

Interviewing my Grandmother


 A Timeline Oral History of the Life of Me Vang

April 18, 1948 – The blistering day was winding down; all was quiet as the gray slowly covers the sky in the tiny village of Haiho, southwest of Luang Prabang. The family gathered around the fire, waiting for the cry to signal the new baby. The day lengthens into night. The sky becomes black glittering with stars. The family continues to whisper prayers to their ancestors for a healthy baby. Finally, at the rooster’s first crow, a baby’s screeching cry was heard. The midwife ran to tell the waiting group that a daughter has been born and she was named Me for the endless meadow grass. She was the sixth of eight children and the third of four daughters.  The family rejoiced, happy to have another hand to work in the field.

Me’s family was considered wealthy for their abundance in silver bars and animals. The family had about fifty silver bars, 10 water buffalos, two chicken coops, 2 pig pens, and several guard dogs. The entire family, parents, grandparents, two single aunts, a single brother, and all eight siblings all lived together in a one room straw house. Six big beds were built using tree trunks to line up neatly on one side of the house. The fifteen family members were divided to share the six beds. Fortunately, Me and her sisters got a bed of their own to share. The kitchen, living quarters and bedrooms were all in a single open space. Then nearby woods were their bathrooms.

The family grew their own rice and vegetables in the nearby fields. Their daily chores included the adults waking up before daybreak to go till the land and plant new seeds. The elders and young children stay back home to babysit the babies, cook, clean, repair and make new clothing, and feed the farm animals. Play time was limited because there were always chores to get done.

1960 – This was Me’s blissful existence for the first twelve years of her life. Then rumors came that war was heading to their tiny village. There were whispers of men in uniforms killing marching their way, killing unarmed men and their families, including the old, women and children. Me’s father met with his relatives and it was agreed that the clan should move before war reached them. The villagers rushed to pack up what little possessions they had. Me’s parents had too many silver bars to transport so her father buried them in several secret places near the Red Water. He vowed to come back for his silver after seeing to his family’s safety. Me’s father moved them from one village to another, never staying long. After several years of uprooting the family through at least five villages, Me’s father finally settled them down in the small village of Ban Xay. After settling the family down, he secretly made his way back to the Red Water to retrieve his silvers.

1966 – It was in Ban Xay that Me met her husband, Toua Yang. Toua was from a poor family. He has just lost his father and his mother had remarried his father’s younger brother. In the old days, when an older brother passed away, it is the responsibility of the younger brother to marry his older brother’s widow and care for his nieces and nephews as his own.  As with Hmong tradition, Me was “kidnapped” by her husband while she was walking home from the field with sisters. Toua made his intention of marriage clear when he brought Me to his house and his father accepted Me into the family by waving a live chicken over both their head as a blessing. A messenger from Toua’s family was dispatched to Me’s parents’ house to inform them of Toua’s intention and to set a date for a wedding feast, which usually occurred within a few days of the “kidnapping.”

During the wedding, it was customary for Toua to pay a bride price of two silver bars, but because he did not have the money, he only paid one silver bar and promised to pay Me’s parents the other silver bar within the year. This was a hiccup in their wedding ceremony because it shows Toua’s lack in wealth. To further embarrass Toua and his family, Me’s father gifted her with two silver bars, one water buffalo, thirteen hand-made traditional skirts, six traditional dress shirts, and one silver necklace. After the wedding, Me came to live with Toua’s family of six; Toua’s mother, his step-father, two brothers and a sister. Toua’s family also farmed for a living. The daily chores were just as Me’s were before she married, but this time it was work for her new family.


1973 – Me’s days continue on like this for many years. She and Toua tried to have children but could not. One day, during a trip to the big town to trade for supplies, Toua met a lady by the side of the road begging people to take her child. She was sick and unable to care for her anymore. The child was barely two years old. She looked hungry and dirty. Toua took one look at her and feel in love with the child. He brought the child home and Me was hesitant at first but eventually feel in love with the little girl as well. The little girl is my mother. 

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Hmong Traditional Clothing


1 comment:

  1. That is very interesting! What country did your grandmother come from? And it’s almost a miracle your grandfather took in your mother, it’s scary to think of what may have happened if he didn’t. Thank you for sharing this :)

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